Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
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