Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
