we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
