He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Randomize
