dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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