think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
