Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize