I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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