:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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