Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
