Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
