lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
