I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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