What did we do last night that was yellow?
no, he came in my armpit
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
