Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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