everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
