Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
