I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
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