my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
