Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
