Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
