I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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