We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Mom said you looked used
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
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