I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
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