I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
it was like eating out sand paper
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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