YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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