is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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