4 words: hood of his car
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
