is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
