Bisexual people are plain selfish.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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