that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
We got so high we made milksteak
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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