He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.