fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"