People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
