i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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