Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
