East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
