Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
It's blow job season.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
