People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
