Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
