the new term for farting is butt boxing.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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