dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
