still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
