everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list