part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
