Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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