Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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