Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
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do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
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I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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