I cannot find my penis.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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