32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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