I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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