You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
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that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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