i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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