Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize