Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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