Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
