eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
